" Tammy's not her real name. Well it is and it isn't. Her given name is Tamarra Morning Darling. When Josh and I found out we were having a girl we knew we had to name her that with our last name being Darling and all. So we started calling her Tammy for short and I guess it stuck. It sounds better on stage anyway....Tammy Darling....contestant # 4, Tammy Darling, don't you think? She's been competing in pageants ever since she was a baby. Little Miss Dimples, Tiny Miss Happiness, Mommy's Little Miss, you know the whole nine yards. She started winning after April May Carple, her biggest competition, was diagnosed with brain cancer and had to drop out of everything....I mean nobody wants to see a bald little girl with yellow skin in a bathing suit, poor little thing. Her mother has never gotten over her last competition when her talent song was, " It's Not Easy Being Green".... you know that Muppet song? Poor little April May had just had a treatment two days prior and didn't look so good. She finished the first part and when she went to to the second chorus, she puked all over the stage, slipped and fell in it and hurt herself pretty bad. That was the last time I saw her perform. She had a good voice too, poor little thing. Anyway, we decided to take advantage of the situation and used April's song, jazzed it up a bit, and tapped a little dance, you know like a skit. Well we dressed her up like a leaf because the whole frog thing has been done to death and she sang and danced around like she was blowing in the wind. It was a huge hit with the audience and she came in 4th. She got a trophy and 2 coupons from Arby's....... No we rarely break even. So far we've spent close to $12,000.00 and we've won....let's see........25 trophies, 11 crowns, about $270.00 in cash and a $100.00 savings bond and ..........oh yeah, the Arby's coupons. She loves every minute of it. I told her she can stop whenever she wants as long as she can find a way to pay me and her daddy back the 12 grand. Oh, and her hair has mostly fallen out from the bleach so unless she wants to got to gymnastics with a bald head like poor little loser April she's going to have to wear that wig. I think it looks like her real hair.... when it doesn't slide back off her forehead. It's a little big but she'll grow into it. She'll be doing the pageants for a while. We're going all the way to Hollywood, Baby! And when we get there you'll be seeing Tamarra Morning Darling on every street corner. Doing what she does best, working hard and selling it to the public. My little girl is going places.
